I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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