Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
