If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
