someone get that fucking seahorse.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
