Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
