We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
