I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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