It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
