If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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