yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
