Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
do herpes really smell.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
