Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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