you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
