Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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