i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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