God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
