I must be too annoying 4 u.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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