what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
