she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
