I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
