When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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