Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
