Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Blood and glitter go together right?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
