nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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