i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
