She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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