I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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