Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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