Moan for me like Helen Keller
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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