margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wish my penis had an off switch
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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