I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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