Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
