How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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