He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My feet surprised me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
