I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
