I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
