i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
