If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
