Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
