they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Enjoy the penises
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
