is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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