toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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