Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
