the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
