Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
