First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
