I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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