I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
