if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
