Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
